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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Somebody please make sense of this, because I can't If my entries come across as bitter and angry most of the time, it's not because I'm an angry person, which probably seems the case. More like frustrated and exhausted. I'm not exactly bitter about my situation, I know there are people who have it way worse than me, but I'm definitely not in the best of situations either. I just want our family to branch off so we can create our own rather than attempting to coexist with my parents (okay, dad) and my brother under the same roof.
I know that it's actually pretty common for the "kids" to move back in with their parents, especially while they're in the process of house-hunting, but I'm fairly certain most parents are much more supportive and don't constantly try to tear their child's family apart and make bitter, stupid comments. The only problem I'm having with living here is my dad, of course. He As I was taking the trash out to the garage last night, he asked me as I was headed back to the stairs "Why doesn't Karl ever take out the trash?" I answered that he was never really home to do it (working all the time), shrugged it off and headed back down, wondering what the big deal was, as it's not that hard of a task for a lady to take out the trash, despite this typically being seen as "the man's job." No big deal, right? Apparently so. I told Karl about it, trying to figure out what what the hell that was about, still not thinking much of it. Then earlier today after he had left for work, dad corners me, his brows furrowed together and says something about why'd I have to tell him what he said, what he says to me is only between me and him. Oh, and then there was the part about how he would've had Karl arrested if it were up to him and the usual rant on how he "stole" my grandparent's silverware set (which was actually left as a wedding present to me, but I suppose marrying somebody he disapproves of doesn't make our marriage valid somehow). The thing I can't wrap my head around is why, oh why, would anyone say things like this to their child and not think that they're not hurtful or wrong in any way and expect their child to side with them. I mean really, I'm not going to tell the man I married, the man I'm fucking and procreated with things? Am I just supposed to say "yes, dad, you're right! My husband is an asshole and we should get divorced so that I can be a single mother of three (two he only knows about) living under your roof for the rest of my life so you can take care of us and play hero/charity case?" Dad doesn't make a lot of money and even if he did, that's a moronic way of looking at things. He gets angry about me being married, but he loves his grandchildren, but he wants to play daddy to them because in his head, he's so convinced that neither I nor Karl are fit to be parents. He talks about how my grandparents would be "rolling over in their graves" if they knew about how we "took" the silverware, yet I roll my eyes thinking about how ashamed and embarrassed they'd feel if they saw the condition of the house they left him. I think about how I obtained a copy of my grandpa's will and saw on the last page that it was specifically stated that he is not left anything, aside from HALF the house as he had nowhere else to move his family. Even they seemed to predict what were to happen after their death and it's actually quite sad when you think about it, that it seems almost as if his parent's were ashamed of their hard-headed son. Yet here we are, in the same situation, living in the basement apartment with our children and he acts as though we're a burden, as though we're only mooches out to get him and make his life hell. Only difference is that we are actually actively planning to move out and hopefully quite soon. I'm tired and angry almost all of the time. Ever since I started dating Karl, everyone seems to have been against us for some reason. From the dumbass people on campus trying to spread rumors, to my ex-best friend trying to convince me to call off the wedding and get an abortion, to my mother-in-law trying to hook me up with her other son, to my dad trying to convince everyone that he's an abusive asshole holding me back. It's like a group of people constantly spitting on you, whipping you and slewing curses as you walk hand-in-hand with your lover. I'm trying to stay strong, but there's a breaking point somewhere. The most frustrating part of all of this is that no matter how much I try to tell someone, they usually end up siding with dad, as he's the older adult. They look at me as though I'm nothing but an insignificant teenager who's bent on creating anarchy and worshiping Satan. I just want my happy family. 5:06 pm - September 21st, 2013 |
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