|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- September 24th I feel like such a redneck, eating tuna out of the can while sifting through coupons. But my mom did come from a poor part of Pennsylvania, so I suppose that makes me second-generation redneck. Recently, I've been questioning if whether or not I took my actions too far. I'd been crying for the past few days and finally stopped. I was actually sort of excited, thinking about dating and not really having a relationship. Then as I was filling out things on one of those dating sites, it hit me that I was basing my ideal match off of her. Needless to say, I didn't have the heart to complete the page and quickly navigated away to something else to get my mind off her. I'm hardly even sure what happened, it all just happened so fast, then we were broken up. I know that I was miserable and always bitching about her, but I think I'm even more miserable without her. How ironic. I know how much everyone was saying that I should just dump her and find someone else, but maybe I should start listening to myself for once. I think I take too much influence from anime. I've been watching a lot of it on digital cable (To Heart, GALS!, Gravitation and Marmalade boy), and it's a little creepy that Miki broke up with Yuu at the same time I did with you-know-who. Hmm... Pressure at home is getting worse- mom's doctor put her on five different medications for all different reasons and she claims that she's seeing and hearing things, yet she's too dumb to STOP TAKING THEM. Now she wants me to see her doctor, as if I'm really going to.. I'm old enough to pick out my own doctor, thank you very much, and I'd prefer one who doesn't throw a pill at every single ailment and flaw I may have. This is exactly why I'm against depression drugs, and why I quit taking mine. I just don't like the effects it has on the brain. I need hormones like whoa though. Mother Nature bitch slapped me in fifth grade and decided that I would have a small chest and horrible gut-crunching period. I've been looking into getting a job, but would really prefer having the pills first, otherwise I'd probably have to rush to the bathroom or sit down frequently as standing makes me very dizzy. Mom says they have to test a piece of your insides and stick something up there to clip a piece of skin. I'm scared. The first time I'll be violated is gonna be by a sharp creepy rod. On the lighter side, I finished my math retest and braved the old anal test proctor. Now it's just another waiting game. If I passed, I'm planning to enroll in HCC. Wish me luck. Or not. I think that's bad luck. 2:55 pm - September 24th, 2008 |
||||||