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so I'm stuck in my own life

I'm stuck. Completely and utterly stuck. Last night, I went around my room and packed away everything that Amy had ever given me in a box that's now sitting in the corner. I've tried to block out any physical evidence that she even exists because I just can't stand seeing any of it. I'm so sick of everything. Now she's angry at me for ignoring her calls and IMs and says I'm a shut-in little prick.

So every thing's my fault, is it? Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. I just don't care anymore. Being in a romantic relationship with a schizophrenic is anything but romantic. I'm clueless on this one. I'm so fucking miserable and if I try to vent, it suddenly makes me a bad person, and her faults are completely unintentional because she's mental.

Every time we have a spat, she goes and gets me a gift, but I'm actually quite sick of that too. She acts like I owe it to her to stay just because she spent some cash on my ass. I never asked her to do that. It was of her own free will. Perhaps those things I got her from the credit card have just slipped her mind... It's not like she can give me what I really want anyway. A somewhat normal relationship.

Does that make me so selfish? I just don't think it's fair that everyone else gets hugs and kisses and all that mushy shit and I don't. It's hard to tell if she loves me back most of the time.

9:13 pm - April 04th, 2007

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